A Proper Balls-Up!

You just can't get decent staff these days!

I mean, there I was being kind enough to give that old fool Alan Johnson a job and he resigns simply because he finds some copper has been shagging his wife. And his secretary, so it's not like it was serious, for crying out loud!

No consideration for me at all, the ungrateful git.

Now I've had to give that swivel-eyed lunatic the Shadow Chancellorship, which is going to cause me more grief than it is Osborne. No chance of a copper shagging his wife, more's the pity!

Buzz

The Postman Is Doing A Great Job!

I hope you can see why my choice of giving the all-important Shadow Chancellor job to Postman Prat was such a brilliant one.

Everytime the fat disloyal wanker opens his mouth he displays such stunning ignorance and stupidity that his chances of being taken seriously in any leadership challenge are zero and going south.

I'm so clever!

Buzz

No More Radio Two, It's Full Of Bigots!

Who on earth let me go on Radio Two? When I find out they are dead meat. I mean, it's just ridiculous, the place was chockablock full of bigots, and they kept asking me questions!

Bad enough getting caught telling alll sorts of porkies about the deficit, but then to be humiliated live on the radio...

Someone will pay for this.

Buzz