Nothing To Do WIth Me!

Err, I'd just like to insist that my close neighbour and long term friend Professor David Held is someone I've never met and have never had anything to do with. And nor has my family.

No matter what that bastard Guido says.

Buzz

Alexander The Great

Fantastic performance by my superdooper new Shadow Foreign Secretary on the telly!

Despite being roughed up by that nasty Paxman he bravely struck to the storyline that the troubles in Libya are happening under a Tory-led Coalition and therefore nothing to do with any of us.

Buzz

Back To The Past!

The Glory Days Will Return!

I have a great idea!

New Liebore have become rather unpopular because of a few paltry mistakes such as the Iraq War and No More Boom and Bust.

So I'm changing the name of the party to Old Labour!

Brilliant, eh?

Buzz

My Big Blank Book Of Policies

Sheer Genius! I have to congratulate myself, because this is such a brilliant wheeze, straight out of Roger the Dodger's best ever cunning plans.

The wicked evil Tories are always pointing their horrid little fingers at all the policy mistakes that we made when we ran things, as though running up a huge deficit was somehow a bad thing. So now I have decided that they won't be able to criticise any of my policies, by not having any.

Clever, innit?

Buzz