Wednesday, 30 March 2011
The Wedding Of The Year!
I'm finally getting round to marrying the mother of my children, it will undoubtedly be the wedding of the year. I'm waiting for the phone call from "Hello", I've decided that £2 million would be a reasonable starting point for negotiations, and that I'll push towards five.
My mother nagged and nagged and nagged, so I asked my brother to be best man. He said, "You don't really want me, you're just asking to please Mamma!"
I said, "No, really, it's you I want. No-one else! It's you or it's nobody!"
He told me to fuck off, so there'll be no best man. Besides, I'm obviously the best man as well as the groom, I mean, who won the leadership contest?